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For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
“In the following pages I shall apply the term "poisonous pedagogy" to this very complex endeavor. It will be clear from the context in question which of its many facets I am emphasizing at the moment. The specific facets can be derived directly from the preceding quotations from child-rearing manuals. These passages teach us that:
1. Adults are the masters (not the servants!) of the dependent child.
2. They determine in godlike fashion what is right and what is wrong.
3. The child is held responsible for their anger.
4. The parents must always be shielded.
5. The child's life affirming feelings pose a threat to the autocratic adult.
6. The child's will must be "broken" as soon as possible.
7. All this must happen at a very early age, so the child "won't notice" and will
therefore not be able to expose the adults.
The methods that can be used to suppress vital spontaneity in the child are: laying traps, lying, duplicity, subterfuge, manipulation, "scare" tactics, withdrawal of love, isolation, distrust, humiliating and disgracing the child, scorn, ridicule, and coercion even to the point of torture.”
Child Abuse
Trauma
Pedagogy
Child Rearing
Fire & Blood
“The Valyrians were more than dragonlords. They practiced blood magic and other dark arts as well, delving deep into the earth for secrets best left buried and twisting the flesh of beasts and men to fashion monstrous and unnatural chimeras. For there sins the gods in their wroth struck them down.
Valyria is accursed, all men agree, and even the boldest sailor steers well clear of its smoking bones... but we would be mistaken to believe that nothing lives there now.”
Accursed
Valyria
The Art of the July Monarchy: France, 1830 to 1848
“In this watercolor Gavarni portrays an individual whose father was an industrialist and whose older brother was a distinguished professor. From the looks of him, Hippolyte Beauvisage Thomire had a keen eye for fashion in casual clothing, however.
He represents the new generation of bourgeois consumers that emerged during the July Monarchy. He is the modern young man off the newly invented fashion plates and out of the cast of Balzac’s Human Comedy.
Charles Baudelaire, the great cultural critic of Louis Philippe’s reign in latter years, called the artist Gavarni “the poet of official dandysme." Dandysme, Baudelaire said (in his famous essay “De l’heroisme de la vie moderne” [The heroism of modern life], which appeared in his review of the Salon of 1846), was “a modern thing.” By this he meant that it was a way for bourgeois men to use their clothing as a costume in order to stand out from the respectable, black-coated crowd in an age when aristocratic codes were crumbling and democratic values had not yet fully replaced them.
The dandy was not Baudelaire’s “modern hero,” however. “The black suit and the frock coat not only have their political beauty as an expression of general equality,” he wrote, “but also their poetic beauty as an expression of the public mentality.” That is why Baudelaire worshiped ambitious rebels, men who disguised themselves by dressing like everyone else. “For the heroes of the Iliad cannot hold a candle to you, Vautrin, Rastignac, Birotteau [all three were major characters in Balzac’s novels] . . . who did not dare to confess to the public what you went through under the macabre dress coat that all of us wear, or to you Honore de Balzac, the strangest, most romantic, and most poetic among all the characters created by your imagination,” Baudelaire declared.”
Baudelaire
Balzac
Dandyism
Waking the Witch: Reflections on Women, Magic, and Power
“While a witchy wardrobe can certainly be sexy at times, it doesn’t tend to prioritize body consciousness. More often than not, witch fashion is about loose layers that veil the form or fabrics that cloak and cover. It conceals more than it reveals. It creates a shroud, albeit one emblazoned with spangles and talismanic symbols. And so the wearer is self-modulating and self-protected, a walking woven spell. If she’s shocking, it’s because she wants to be. This witch is a voluntary disturbance. Women have been told over many lifetimes that their bodies are wrong and unbecoming - that they belong to other people. The fashion witch is self-possessed, first and foremost. She controls how much of herself she shares. Whether others consider her anatomy a monstrosity, or a thing of majesty, is of little concern. She knows her body is her own. And that is true power.”
Witch
Witch As Fashion Icon
Witch Fashion
Scandals and Abstraction: Financial Fiction of the Long 1980s
“The two fathers present structurally the choice between two corporations, two modes of accumulation, two styles of financial masculinity. The Old Conservatism and the New Conservatism, the old patriarchy and the new patriarchy, the industrial monopoly capital of airlines and the monopoly financial capital of a corporate raider. Perhaps the film's most radical critique and uncertainty is that both paternal men are respectively ill. Gekko has the high blood pressure thats befits financial accumulation: It is able to be continually monitored, the sphygmomanomater is an instrument for the continuous conveying of exact information, diastolic and systolic ratios rise and fall in different social contexts. Bud's father is made sick by an old-fashioned, industrial heart attack - his illness is a consequence of the steady accumulation of arterial plaque.”
Style
Movie
Aesthetic
Representation
Financial Crisis
Oliver Stone
Financial Capital
Financial Masculinity
Gordon Gekko
Aesthetic Sustainability - Product Design and Sustainable Usage
“Fashion is by definition focused on new and forward-looking trends. But despite of its forward-looking and new-is-good doctrine, fashion constantly borrows from the stylistic expressions of earlier times.”
Fashion
Fashion Quotes
Sustainability
Sustainable Fashion
Life Moves Pretty Fast: The Lessons We Learned From Eighties Movies
“One of the jokes in 'Back to the Future' is how people in the 1950s don't get 1980s fashion. People in the 1950s were right.”
Humor
Films
Eighties
The Language of Fashion
“Dandyism […] is not only an ethos (on which much has been written since Baudelaire and Barbey) but also a technique. It is these two together which make a dandy, and it is obviously the latter which guarantees the former, as with all ascetic philosophies (of the Hindu type, for example) in which a physical form of behaviour acts as a route towards the performance of thought […]”
Dandyism
Whole Earth Discipline: An Ecopragmatist Manifesto
“Science is the only news.
When you scan through a newspaper or magazine, all the human interest stuff is the same old he-said-she-said, the politics and economics the same sorry cyclic dramas, the fashions a pathetic illusion of newness, and even the technology is predictable if you know the science.
Human nature doesn’t change much; science does, and the change accrues, altering the world irreversibly. - Whole Earth Discipline (2009), page 216.”
Society
Culture
Science
Technology
News
Science News
Technology News
The Red Scrolls of Magic
“I wasn’t planning on it. Of course she’s . . . a colleague. I will treat her in a professional fashion. That was my plan for how to treat her. With a calm professionalism.”
Love
Shadowhunters
Alec Lightwood
Lgbtqia Characters
Helen Blackthorn
Aline Penhollow
Natalie Tan's Book of Luck & Fortune
“As I walked, I became aware of the strong odor of peonies and jasmine. I inhaled deeply to draw in the lovely bouquet. The scent was from the fresh flowers of a lush garden.
The path opened into a courtyard, a tangle of peonies and jasmine framing the entrance, blooming in spectacular fashion. Silky petals brushed against my skin. The tension building in my neck and shoulders melted away as I entered a fairyland.
The rustle of the night breeze joined the familiar voice of Teresa Teng echoing from invisible speakers. Beneath my feet, a path of moss-covered stones led to a circular platform surrounded by a large, shallow pond. The night garden was bursting with a palette of muted greens, starlit ivories, and sparkling golds: the verdant lichen and waxy lily pads in the pond, the snowy white peonies and jasmine flowers, and the metallic tones of the fireflies suspended in the air, the square-holed coins lining the floor of the pond, and the special golden three-legged creatures resting on the floating fronds.
I knew these creatures from my childhood. The feng shui symbol of prosperity, Jin Chan was transformed into a golden toad for stealing the peaches of immortality. Jin Chan's three legs represented heave, earth, and humanity. Statues of him graced every Chinese home I had ever been in, for fortune was a visitor always in demand. Ma-ma had placed one near the stairs leading to the front door.
The pond before me held eight fabled toads, each biting on a coin. If not for the subtle rise and fall of their vocal sacs, I would have thought them statues.”
Flowers
Toads
Mystical
Feng Shui
Secret Garden
Courtyard
Love in the Afternoon
“Opening the lid, Beatrix found her neatly folded clothes and a drawstring muslin bag containing a brush and a rack of hairpins, and other small necessities. There was also a package wrapped in pale blue paper and tied with a matching ribbon. Picking up a small folded note that had been tucked under the ribbon, Beatrix read:
A gift for your wedding night, darling Bea. This gown was made by the most fashionable modiste in London. It is rather different from the ones you usually wear, but it will be very pleasing to a bridegroom. Trust me about this.
-Poppy
Holding the nightgown up, Beatrix saw that it was made of black gossamer and fastened with tiny jet buttons. Since the only nightgowns she had ever worn had been of modest white cambric or muslin, this was rather shocking. However, if it was what husbands liked...
After removing her corset and her other underpinnings, Beatrix drew the gown over her head and let a slither over her body in a cool, silky drift. The thin fabric draped closely over her shoulders and torso and buttoned at the waist before flowing to the ground in transparent panels. A side slit went up to her hip, exposing her leg when she moved. And her back was shockingly exposed, the gown dipping low against her spine. Pulling the pins and combs from her hair, she dropped them into the muslin bag in the trunk.
Tentatively she emerged from behind the screen.
Christopher had just finished pouring two glasses of champagne. He turned toward her and froze, except for his gaze, which traveled over her in a burning sweep. "My God," he muttered, and drained his champagne. Setting the empty glass aside, he gripped the other as if he were afraid it might slip through his fingers.
"Do you like my nightgown?" Beatrix asked.
Christopher nodded, not taking his gaze from her. "Where's the rest of it?"
"This was all I could find." Unable to resist teasing him, Beatrix twisted and tried to see the back view. "I wonder if I put it on backward..."
"Let me see." As she turned to reveal the naked line of her back, Christopher drew in a harsh breath.
Although Beatrix heard him mumble a curse, she didn't take offense, deducing that Poppy had been right about the nightgown. And when he drained the second glass of champagne, forgetting that it was hers, Beatrix sternly repressed a grin. She went to the bed and climbed onto the mattress, relishing the billowy softness of its quilts and linens. Reclining on her side, she made no attempt to cover her exposed leg as the gossamer fabric fell open to her hip.
Christopher came to her, stripping off his shirt along the way. The sight of him, all that flexing muscle and sun-glazed skin, was breathtaking. He was a beautiful man, a scarred Apollo, a dream lover. And he was hers.”
Teasing
Wedding Night
Beatrix And Christopher
Beatrix Hathaway
Nightgown
Naked Beauty
Christopher Phelan
Love in the Afternoon
“There was also a package wrapped in pale blue paper and tied with a matching ribbon. Picking up a small folded note that had been tucked under the ribbon, Beatrix read:
A gift for your wedding night, darling Bea. This gown was made by the most fashionable modiste in London. It is rather different from the ones you usually wear, but it will be very pleasing to a bridegroom. Trust me about this.
-Poppy
Holding the nightgown up, Beatrix saw that it was made of black gossamer and fastened with tiny jet buttons. Since the only nightgowns she had ever worn had been of modest white cambric or muslin, this was rather shocking. However, if it was what husbands liked...
After removing her corset and her other underpinnings, Beatrix drew the gown over her head and let a slither over her body in a cool, silky drift. The thin fabric draped closely over her shoulders and torso and buttoned at the waist before flowing to the ground in transparent panels. A side slit went up to her hip, exposing her leg when she moved. And her back was shockingly exposed, the gown dipping low against her spine. Pulling the pins and combs from her hair, she dropped them into the muslin bag in the trunk.
Tentatively she emerged from behind the screen.
Christopher had just finished pouring two glasses of champagne. He turned toward her and froze, except for his gaze, which traveled over her in a burning sweep. "My God," he muttered, and drained his champagne. Setting the empty glass aside, he gripped the other as if he were afraid it might slip through his fingers.
"Do you like my nightgown?" Beatrix asked.
Christopher nodded, not taking his gaze from her. "Where's the rest of it?"
"This was all I could find." Unable to resist teasing him, Beatrix twisted and tried to see the back view. "I wonder if I put it on backward..."
"Let me see." As she turned to reveal the naked line of her back, Christopher drew in a harsh breath.
Although Beatrix heard him mumble a curse, she didn't take offense, deducing that Poppy had been right about the nightgown. And when he drained the second glass of champagne, forgetting that it was hers, Beatrix sternly repressed a grin. She went to the bed and climbed onto the mattress, relishing the billowy softness of its quilts and linens. Reclining on her side, she made no attempt to cover her exposed leg as the gossamer fabric fell open to her hip.
Christopher came to her, stripping off his shirt along the way. The sight of him, all that flexing muscle and sun-glazed skin, was breathtaking. He was a beautiful man, a scarred Apollo, a dream lover. And he was hers.
”
Teasing
Wedding Night
Beatrix And Christopher
Beatrix Hathaway
Nightgown
Naked Beauty
Christopher Phelan
The Social History of Art: Volume 4: Naturalism, Impressionism, The Film Age
“Naturalism is not a homogeneous, clear-cut conception of art, always based on the same idea of nature, but changes with the times, concerned with a concrete task and confining its interpretation of life to particular phenomena. One professes a belief in naturalism, not because one consider a naturalistic representation more artistic a prior than a stylizing, but because one discovers a trait, a tendency in reality on which one would like to put more emphasis, which one would either to promote or fight against. Such a discovery is not itself the result of naturalistic observation, on the contrary, the interest in naturalism is the result of such a discovery. The 1830 generation begins its literary career with the recognition that the structure of society has completely changed; partly it accepts, partly opposes this change, but, in any case, it reacts to it in an extremely activism fashion and it naturalistic approach is derived from this activism. Naturalism is not aimed at reality as a whole, not at "nature" or "life" in general, but at social life in particular, that is, at that province of reality which has become specially important for this generation.”
Naturalism
Particularity
Social Tendency
The INTP: Personality, Careers, Relationships, & the Quest for Truth and Meaning
“When their partners, especially those with strong Fe expressiveness, come to them with an urgent need for support or reassurance, INTPs may find themselves feeling angry or spiteful rather than compassionate. This response is not intentional, but is more of a knee-jerk reaction stemming from feelings of powerlessness and ineptitude. This problem also ties into the fact that INTPs fail to experience empathy to the degree that Feeling types do. INTPs do not want to feign empathy, as it feels awkward and inauthentic. So all they feel capable of doing is proffering potential solutions in a Ti-Ne
fashion, which may leave their support-seeking partner feeling frustrated and unsatisfied. This dissatisfaction may, in turn, further fuel INTPs’ sense of spite and anger, since they feel they are being asked to function inauthentically and “out of their element.”
Personality Type
Intp
Lady Sophia's Lover
“To Sophia's private relief, the dressmaker presented her with an exquisite pale blue gown with a flattering square-cut bodice and a fashionably low waistband. The full skirts were adorned with glittering beadwork flowers, as were the full, elbow-length sleeves.”
Blue Dress
Sophia Sydney
Sorcery of Thorns
“Does it need to be so tight?" Nathaniel objected as Silas retied the cravat in a complicated series of knots, his gloved fingers moving with nimble certainty over the fabric.
"I'm afraid so, if you wish to remain fashionable," Silas replied. "And we don't want a repeat of the incident with Lady Gwendolyn."
Nathaniel scoffed. "How was I supposed to know tying it that way meant that I intended to proposition her? I have better things to do then learn secret signals with handkerchiefs and neckcloths."
"Had you listened to me, I would have told you, and spared you from getting champagne thrown in your face---though I heard several people say afterward that that was their favorite part of the dinner.”
Silas
Nathaniel Thorn
Renoir's Dancer: The Secret Life of Suzanne Valadon
“Then, at last, Madeleine’s luck turned. She came across Montmartre. With its windmills, its clear air and the old-fashioned, village feel of its higgledy-piggledy houses perched on a slope, few places recalled the Limousin countryside so vividly as Montmartre. It was up to 129 metres above sea level at the highest point. Why, with its narrow, winding streets and alleys, and its cottages clinging to the hillside, a person could have believed themselves in Le Mas Barbu. The bustling Rue Lepic and the Place des Abbesses readily called to mind Bessines’ town square on a busy market day. And all around, steep, grassy banks rose up protectively, hillside homes bloomed with flowers, old men installed in wrought iron chairs sat outside doorways and set the world to rights, children played in the street and women chatted and gossiped as they made their way to fill baskets with provisions. At last, Madeleine had found somewhere familiar, reassuring, comforting. Montmartre felt like home.”
Paris
Montmartre
“Compared with the Celt, the Northman is heavy, reserved, a child of earth, yet
seemingly but half awakened. He cannot say what he feels save by vague
indication, in a long, roundabout fashion. He is deeply attached to the country
that surrounds him, its meadows and rivers fill him with a latent tenderness; but
his home sense has not emancipated itself into love. The feeling for nature rings
in muffled tones through his speech and through his myths, but he does not
burst into song of the loveliness of the world. Of his relations with women he
feels no need to speak, save when there is something of a practical nature to be
stated; only when it becomes tragic does the subject enter into his poetry. In
other words, his feelings are never revealed until they have brought about an
event; and they tell us nothing of themselves save by the weight and bitterness
they give to the conflicts that arise. Uneventfulness does not throw him back
upon his inner resources, and never opens up a flood of musings or lyricism – it
merely dulls him. The Celt meets life with open arms; ready for every
impression, he is loth to let anything fall dead before him. The Teuton is not
lacking in passionate feeling, but he cannot, he will not help himself so lavishly
to life.”
Nature
Honor
Northman
The 48 Laws of Power
“When T. E. Lawrence was fighting the Turks in the deserts of the Middle East during World War I, he had an epiphany: It seemed to him that conventional warfare had lost its value. The old-fashioned soldier was lost in the enormous armies of the time, in which he was ordered about like a lifeless pawn. Lawrence wanted to turn this around. For him, every soldier's mind was a kingdom he had to conquer. A committed, psychologically motivated soldier would fight harder and more creatively than a puppet.”
Psychology
Soldiers
Wwi
T E Lawrence
Dream Body with Keto Genic Diet: Beginner-Friendly Recipes using ingredients that are easily found at your local grocery store
“Nowadays, a low carb diet is a new fashion trend because people are not doing much physical exercise.”
Science
Cooking
Diet Plan
Ketogenic
Ketogenic Diet
Mission Reality
“Every step of ours holds the power to influence the world we live in. And by influencing the world I don't mean creating some online profile and posting some trending pictures and photographs in an effort to build a monetizable “influencer” image. A person can have a million followers on instagram by posting fake beauty or fashion content, but this only coaxes a bunch of possession-obsessed humans to buy more things than they need, it doesn't have any impact whatsoever on human progress in the long run – in short, the thing you call today influencing in the world of social media, is actually no influencing.”
Social Media Branding
Social Media Marketing
Social Media Addiction
Influencer
Influencer Marketing
Invluencers
Bleeding Edge
“
Is
no revenge of the nerds, you know what, last year when everything collapsed, all it meant was the nerds lost out once again and the jocks won. Same as always ... Some of the quants are smart, but quants come, quants go, they're just nerds for hire with a different fashion sense. The jocks may not know a stochastic crossover if it bites them on the ass, but they have that drive to thrive, they're synced in to them deep market rhythms, and that'll always beat out nerditude no matter how smart it gets.”
Ass
Pynchon
Quants
Stochastic Crossover
The Strawberry Thief
“Working with chocolate always helps me find the calm centre of my life. It has been with me for so long; nothing here can surprise me. This afternoon I am making pralines, and the little pan of chocolate is almost ready on the burner.
I like to make these pralines by hand. I use a ceramic container over a shallow copper pan: an unwieldy, old-fashioned method, perhaps, but the beans demand special treatment. They have traveled far, and deserve the whole of my attention. Today I am using couverture made from the
Criollo
bean: its taste is subtle, deceptive; more complex than the stronger flavors of the
Forastero
; less unpredictable than the hybrid
Trinitario
. Most of my customers will not know that I am using this rarest of cacao beans; but I prefer it, even though it may be more expensive. The tree is susceptible to disease: the yield is disappointingly low; but the species dates back to the time of the Aztecs, the Olmecs, the Maya. The hybrid
Trinitario
has all but wiped it out, and yet there are still some suppliers who deal in the ancient currency.
Nowadays I can usually tell where a bean was grown, as well as its species. These come from South America, from a small, organic farm. But for all my skill, I have never seen a flower from the
Theobroma cacao
tree, which only blooms for a single day, like something in a fairytale. I have seen photographs, of course. In them, the cacao blossom looks something like a passionflower: five-petaled and waxy, but small, like a tomato plant, and without that green and urgent scent. Cacao blossoms are scentless; keeping their spirit inside a pod roughly the shape of a human heart. Today I can feel that heart beating: a quickening inside the copper pan that will soon release a secret.
Half a degree more of heat, and the chocolate will be ready. A filter of steam rises palely from the glossy surface. Half a degree, and the chocolate will be at its most tender and pliant.”
Chocolate
Genus Species
Beans
Cacao
Vianne Rocher
Pralines
The Social History of Art: Volume 2: Renaissance, Mannerism, Baroque
“It is the court which gives the great, commanding style of art its guiding principles; here is formed that "grande manière" which invests reality with an idea, resplendent, festive, and solemn character, and which set the standard for the style of official art in the whole Europe. To be sure, the French court attains the international recognition of its manners, fashion and art at the expense of the national character of French culture. The French, like the ancient Romans, look upon themselves as the citizens of the world, and nothing more typical of their cosmopolitan outlook than the fact that in all the tragedies of Racine, as has been noted, not a single Frenchmen appears.”
Art
Baroque
Cosmopolitan
European Courts
French Court
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