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The Blinding Knife
“Like many who make their livelihood with their minds, she had an outsized pride in the few things her hands had crafted. It was perhaps the only things for which Ironfist could consider her a silly old lady.”
Aging
Silly
Crafts
Weaving
Old Lady
Hand Made
Handicrafts
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“No," said the old lady. "It's the story of my life. You see, the quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead. Now, as you look through this document you'll see that I've underlined all the major decisions I ever made to make them stand out. They're all indexed and cross-referenced. See? All I can suggest is that if you take the decisions that are exactly opposite to the sort of decisions that I've taken, then maybe you won't finish up at the end of your life"-she paused, and filled her lungs for a good shout-"in a smelly old cave like this!”
Douglas Adams
Mostly Harmless
Mostly Harmless
“But the smell could just as easily have been coming from the old lady who was busy beating flies away from the pile of bodies. It was a hopeless task because each of the flies was about the size of a winged bottle top and all she had was a table tennis bat. Also she seemed half blind. Every now and then, by chance, her wild thrashing would connect with one of the flies with a richly satisfying thunk, and the fly would hurtle through the air and smack itself open against the rock face a few yards from the entrance to her cave.
She gave every impression, by her demeanour, that these were the
moments she lived for.”
Life
Humour
Doctor Who
Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Douglas Adams
Mostly Harmless
An Earl Like You
“She wondered when Papa would accept that she wasn't the sort of girl gentlemen flocked to. In his eyes she was lovely, but Eliza knew he was the only one who saw her that way. Plain girls had made splashes in society, but usually by virtue of being vivacious and witty. Eliza tended to grow mute and hesitant in the presence of elegant strangers, and any wit she had vanished from her brain if one of them actually spoke to her. Undoubtedly Papa hoped her enormous dowry would outweigh her shyness, but Eliza would rather be that eccentric old lady with a house full of dogs than marry a husband who only wanted her money.
So Papa could dream, but Eliza was far less certain. Perhaps some day she would meet an affable country squire who didn't need a beautiful, charming wife, but preferred a quiet girl content to play with her dog and tend her garden. And if not, she would just remain where she was.”
Not Like Other Girls
Eliza Cross
Maskerade
“Nanny Ogg usually went to bed early. After all, she was an old lady. Sometimes she went to bed as early as 6 a.m.”
Terry Pratchett
Discworld
Nanny Ogg
Pratchett
Maskerade
Tomorrow There Will Be Apricots
“Seconds later, a girl emerged from the stairwell, her feet barely tapping the floor. I stepped back, shocked. She wasn't a fifty-year-old lady. She wasn't my daughter. She wasn't Robert either. She was fifteen, if that. Her cheeks were the color of brick. I opened the door. She was wearing a rain jacket, and her hands were hidden in her sleeves.
"Sorry," she said. "The subway was so slow. I got out at Ninety-Sixth Street and walked."
Her voice was deeper than I would have thought. She took off a hat that looked too big for her, all flaps and flannel. She was long-necked, reddish-haired, and freckled, but olive in the skin, as if she'd been shaded. Her eyes were light blue, like ancient sea glass. She took off her sneakers without using her hands and then leaned over and placed them neatly by the door. They were flat as pancakes, with shoelaces that didn't match. She was wearing socks with white bugs on them. She curled her toes when she saw me looking.
"You know they eat them in Thailand?" she said. "Oven-baked with green curry."
"Socks?" I asked.
"No," she said and the sides of her cheeks lifted into a smile. "Crickets
on
my socks.”
Crickets
Young Girl
Lorca
Song of the Skylark
“Forgive an old lady preaching to you, but I want you to believe what I do, that you have so much more to offer the world than you give yourself credit for. Yes, you have encountered a run of bad luck and made mistakes in the past, but so have we all, so please do not make the bigger mistake and allow yourself to be defined by these things. 'Pick yourself up and fight another day' is as good a motto as any in my experience.”
Redemption
Secondchances
“If I only had a kettle and a cat here, she said to herself, I'd be a perfect picture of a useless old lady.”
Tea
Cat
Cosy
Kettle
The Quin
“He was working for the old lady, behind the desk, when the door chimes sounded the same way they would for anybody. The open door allowed in a flashing scream of frothing soy, pedestrian conversation and the El-train’s brake-song. The chimes didn’t know she was different. Neither did Tama. So he didn’t even look up.”
Love
Romance
Love Interest
Bex
Meet Cute
Feichangbei
Gen2k
Tama
Bad Choices Make Good Stories - Going to New York
“Why do some people feel offended by the word shit, but not by the word poop? Because some little old lady at the FCC decided that good citizens don't use the word shit, and suddenly using a word like shit or fuck becomes an act of civil disobedience. Suddenly a little four-letter word has the power to shock.”
Shit
Fuck
Offensive
Political Correctness Quotes
Civil Disobedience
Freedom Of Speech Quotes
Censorship Quotes
Four Letter Word Quotes
Bad Choices Make Good Stories - Going to New York
“Why do some people feel offended by the word shit, but not by the word poop? Because some little old lady at the FCC decided that
good citizens don't use the word shit, and suddenly using a word like shit or fuck becomes an act of civil disobedience. Suddenly a little four-letter word has the power to shock.”
Shit
Political Correctness
Fuck
Offensive
Civil Disobedience
Freedom Of Speech Quotes
Censorship Quotes
Four Letter Word Quotes
Bad Choices Make Good Stories - Going to New York
“In Europe, nobody will bleep you, if you want to say a "bad" word on TV. The idea that some self-righteous little old lady at the FCC gets to tell other people which words they may or may not use, seems like a pretty strange concept in the rest of the civilized world.
Media censorship is a prohibition of words and pictures. The War on Drugs is a complete failure, and so is the American War on Words. When you forbid a word, you give it power. Self-proclaimed rebels will use words like shit or fuck, simply to shock and sound cool.”
Censorship
Freedom Of Speech
Forbidden Fruit
American Culture
Forbidden Knowledge
Censorship Of Books
War On Drugs Quotes
Forbidden Words
On Writing
“She (my mother) could still recite them (the poems) in full when she was lying helpless and nearly blind, in her bed, an old lady. Reciting, her voice took on resonance and firmness, it rang with the old fervor, with ferocity even. She was teaching me one more, almost her last, lesson: emotions do not grow old. I knew that I would feel as she did, and I do.”
Emotions
Poems
Teaching
Lesson
Resonance
Recite
Grow Old
Old Lady
Love & Gelato
“I scowled. "Shut up."
"We should play Go Fish later."
"No."
"Mah-jong? Bridge?"
"What are you, an old lady?”
Love
Ren
Lina
Gelato
A Wild Sheep Chase
“747s always remind me of a fat, ugly old lady in the neighborhood where I used to live. Huge sagging breasts, swollen legs, dried up neckline. The airport, a likely gathering place for the old ladies. Dozens of them, coming and going, one after the other.”
Airports
Old Lady
747
A Colony in a Nation
“There are fundamentally two ways you can experience the police in America: as the people you call when there's a problem, the nice man in uniform who pats a toddler's head and has an easy smile for the old lady as she buys her coffee. For others, the police are the people who are called on them. They are the ominous knock on the door, the sudden flashlight in the face, the barked orders. Depending on who you are, the sight of an officer can produce either a warm sense of safety and contentment or a plummeting feeling of terror.”
Racism
Police
Police Brutality
Institutionalized Racism
“There are fundamentally two ways you can experience the police in America: as the people you call when there's a problem, the nice man in uniform who pats a toddler's head and has an easy smile for the old lady as she buys her coffee. For others, the police are the people who are called on them. They are the ominous knock on the door, the sudden flashlight in the face, the barked orders. Depending on who you are, the sight of an officer can produce either a warm sense of safety and contentment or a plummeting feeling of terror.”
Racism
Police
Police Brutality
Institutionalized Racism
“There are fundamentally two ways you can experience the police in America: as the people you call when there's a problem, the nice man in uniform who pats a toddler's head and has an easy smile for the old lady as she buys her coffee. For others, the police are the people who are called on them. They are the ominous knock on the door, the sudden flashlight in the face, the barked orders. Depending on who you are, the sight of an officer can produce either a warm sense of safety and contentment or a plummeting feeling of terror.”
Racism
Police
Police Brutality
Racism In America
Institutionalized Racism
Dirty Salvation
“You're everythin' I want, Icy. Believe it, you're it for me, for the long haul, my old lady, want you on the back of my bike squeezin' me with your legs, holdin' my waist, I wanna fuck you every night, make you feel good, have you screamin' my name, wanna see that smile and know it's just for me ‘cause I make you happy. I want every last thing from you and to give you more back, you and me every day. Need you to know this goin’ in, where my heads at. It’s you.”
Rider
Zara
The Hike
“She crossed her legs and kicked out her feet, clad in thick wool socks and boots big enough to house a little old lady.”
Fantasy
Fairy Tale
Giant
Nursery Rhyme
Allusion
Drew Magary
The Hike
A Wild Sheep Chase
“747s always reminded me of a fat, ugly old lady in the neighborhood where I used to live. Huge sagging breasts, swollen legs, dried-up neckline.”
Airplane
747
Lily and the Octopus
“A Complete List of Lily's Nicknames
Silly
Little
Lil
Monkey
Bunny
Bunny Rebbit
Mousse
Tiny Mouse
Goose
Silly Goose
Mongoose
Monster
Monster.com
Peanut
Penuche
Pinochle
Sweet Pea
Walnut
Walnut Brian
Copper Bottom
Crazy
Baby
Puppy
Guppy
Old Lady
Crank
Cranky
Cranky Pants
Squeaky
Squeaky Frome
Tiger
Dingbat
Mush
Mushy Face
Hipster
Slinkster
Slinky
Bean
Dog”
Name
Dog
Pet
Nickname
Title
Lily And The Octopus
Pet Names
Nick Name
Black Sheep
“JUSTICE: Coretta looks worn down by life but not in a sweet old lady way. She seems as if she’d f*ck any willing man and kill any possible threat. There’s something impressive about her snarling face.
One day, I want to be a b*tchy old person. Wouldn’t even mind if the local kids fear my house and think I’m a witch.”
Mc Romance
Murder at the Vicarage
“Miss Marple is a white-haired old lady with a gentle appealing manner- Miss Wetherby is a mixture of vinegar and gush. Of the two Miss Marple is the more dangerous.”
Miss Marple
Dangerous Woman
Food: A Love Story
“I was only hit on once at the grocery store. I remember it was early one Saturday morning and I was buying my daily bacon, when I got tapped on the shoulder. I turned around and I saw a rather short and very feeble eighty-year-old lady looking up at me. She said in a weak, scratchy voice, "Excuse me, young man, could you reach up and grab some ketchup for me?" Well I'm no dummy. I know when I'm getting hit on. I smiled politely and reached up for the ketchup, knowing full well that she just wanted to get a gander at my derriere. As I handed her the ketchup, she said, "Thank you," like I was some piece of meat, a boy toy, or something. Finally I just blurted out, "Look, I'm married, lady!" She acted all surprised and confused. "Excuse me? I don't understand!" I shook my head with a smirk, raised my left hand, and showed her my wedding ring. "Married!" I loudly told her. "I'm taken!" A stock boy at the end of the aisle looked at us and inquired, "Is everything okay?" "I'm fine," I assured him. "I know how to deal with predators." Well, suddenly this sex-crazed lady got all angry at me. Like I was out of line. She huffed off. "Well, I never!" "And you ain't gonna with me either, " I yelled after her. I have to admit, it was nice to get the attention.”
Humor
Satire
Grocery Shopping
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