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I Swear I Saw This: Drawings in Fieldwork Notebooks, Namely My Own
“I then tell myself that the result is pitiful but the struggle worth it because I looked at color and I looked at the night and the river like I never had before and saw what I take so for granted with new eyes. Is there any activity that so rewards failure? These are toads that become flowers.”
Inspirational
Drawing
Anthropology
Imagery
Fieldnotes
“To understand, I destroyed myself. To understand is to forget about loving. I know nothing more simultaneously false and telling than the statement by Leonardo da Vinci that we cannot love or hate something until we’ve understood it.
Solitude devastates me; company oppresses me. The presence of another person derails my thoughts; I dream of the other’s presence with a strange absent-mindedness that no amount of my analytical scrutiny can define.
Isolation has carved me in its image and likeness. The presence of another person – of any person whatsoever – instantly slows down my thinking, and while for a normal man contact with others is a stimulus to spoken expression and wit, for me it is a counterstimulus, if this compound word be linguistically permissible. When all by myself, I can think of all kinds of clever remarks, quick comebacks to what no one said, and flashes of witty sociability with nobody. But all of this vanishes when I face someone in the flesh: I lose my intelligence, I can no longer speak, and after half an hour I just feel tired. Yes, talking to people makes me feel like sleeping. Only my ghostly and imaginary friends, only the conversations I have in my dreams, are genuinely real and substantial, and in them intelligence gleams like an image in a mirror.
The mere thought of having to enter into contact with someone else makes me nervous. A simple invitation to have dinner with a friend produces an anguish in me that’s hard to define. The idea of any social obligation whatsoever – attending a funeral, dealing with someone about an office matter, going to the station to wait for someone I know or don’t know – the very idea disturbs my thoughts for an entire day, and sometimes I even start worrying the night before, so that I sleep badly. When it takes place, the dreaded encounter is utterly insignificant, justifying none of my anxiety, but the next time is no different: I never learn to learn.
‘My habits are of solitude, not of men.’ I don’t know if it was Rousseau or Senancour who said this. But it was some mind of my species, it being perhaps too much to say of my race.”
The Book Of Disquiet
The Game Changer
“I failed you that night, Cassie. I’ll never forgive myself for not making sure you were safe and protected. That should have never happened to you. And it won’t ever happen again. I promised you I’d never let anyone hurt you like that. Just let me keep my fucking promise to you”
Theperfectgame
Jackcarter
Thegamechanger
“You see, people read to be amused, to pass the time, I never read to be instructed; I read to be taken out of myself, to become ecstatic. I'm always looking for the author who can take me out of myself.”
Inspirational
Reading
Literature
Transcendence
Transcendental
Stones of Contention
“It reminded me of an idea the late American novelist James Baldwin posed in various ways over the course of his career: "As long as you think that you are white, there is no hope for you." Perhaps equally relevant is that he never said "As long as you think that you are an antiracist white, there is some hope for you.”
James Baldwin
Anti Racism
The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America
“In New Jersey, for example, Governor Harold Hoffman refused to allow any camps for African American corps members because of what he termed “local resentment.” The national CCC director, Robert Fechner, implemented a policy never to “force colored companies on localities that have openly declared their opposition to them.”
Segregation
Public Housing
Civilian Conservation Corp
Curfewed Night
“Srinagar is a medieval city dying in a modern war. It is empty streets, locked shops, angry soldiers and boys with stones. It is several thousand military bunkers, four golf courses, and three book-shops. It is wily politicians repeating their lies about war and peace to television cameras and small crowds gathered by the promise of an elusive job or a daily fee of a few hundred rupees. It is stopping at sidewalks and traffic lights when the convoys of rulers and their patrons in armored cars, secured by machine guns, rumble on broken roads. It is staring back or looking away, resigned. Srinagar is never winning and never being defeated.”
War
India
Indian Authors
Kashmir
Srinagar
“Actually believe in your potential. You spend all day and all night daydreaming and sometimes talking to yourself... out loud, which people can see by the way so maybe consider stopping that, about all the things you wish you could be and do, but instead you doubt yourself and say its impossible, and instead of following your unrealistic dreams, you should accept that you're an average person that will never get lucky and should just do what the world seems to have laid out for you like.. study law at University.
That's not gonna go down well, just trust me there. You are a horrific procrastinator and one day you will just mature enough to look past what you have been told about the world, and decide to take it into your own hands, and that will finally make you happy.”
Youtube
Danisnotonfire
Messageformyyougerself
Bad for Me
“Callie, I feel like we’ve got something amazing. Something that’s going to last. I look at you , and I see my future. But it’s almost like we take two steps forward and four back, every time. You let me in a little, and then you push me away. I just need you to know that I’ll wait. I’ll be here for whatever you need, whenever. Just don’t shut me out, baby. Please.”
Romance
Contemporary
Ariah
“All I know was that Dirva stayed with Liro in the days immediately after, and that it was Liro who slowly coaxed him back from the jaws of grief. Dirva had Liro, he had no one else, and it was then that I began to understand that the things we need from others make their own kind of sense, have their own logic, create their own legitimacy regardless of what we've been taught. If he hadn't had Liro, I am not sure Dirva would have been able to patch himself back together.
I am grateful for this, but in the years since, I cannot help but wonder at the sacrifice it required of Liro. It is not easy to hold someone through their grief. It is hard to see someone you love in pain, in irreparable pain. It takes an extraordinary type of kindness, a rare patience, to let the loss run its course. We always want to help, but there are times when there is no help, and the pressure to take help only makes things harder on the ones trapped in mourning. I don't know what transpired between them. I don't. But I do know that Dirva left him without explanation, reappeared without warning, and that there was nothing for Liro to do but offer himself up. I never knew Liro well, but he seemed to me a very bright man. Like anyone who scraped a childhood by on the street and survived to adulthood, he had a watchfulness about him and an uncannily honed feel for other people. Liro knew the moment Dirva set foot in the City what he would need, and what he would take, and Liro let him take it anyway.”
Love
People
Grief
Human Nature
Psychology
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
“Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era—the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run … but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.…”
1971
The Wave
Clap When You Land
“Does anyone ever
want to leave their home?
The fresh fruit that drops from their backyard?
The neighbors who wiped their snot?
Does anyone ever
want to believe they won't come back?
To the dog that sniffs their heel,
to the bed that holds the echo of their body?
Is there relief in pretending it is temporary,
that one day it will be safe? That I will once again
wave to the kind school bus driver;
that I'll hold Carline's baby before he grows,
having never known me? They have no palm
trees in New York City, no leaves to shade me,
to brush against my cheeks like my mother's hands.
There is no one over there, alive or buried,
who held me as a child, who cradled me close,
who fed me from their table, who wiped my knees when
I fell & scraped them. Here, despite the bad & ugly,
is my home. & now I wish that I could stay. Does anyone ever
want to leave the place they love?”
Home
Immigration
Emigration
Immigrant Experience
Emigrant Experience
Love and Freindship
“Dear Eloisa (said I) there’s no occasion for your crying so much about such a trifle. (for I was willing to make light of it in order to comfort her) I beg you would not mind it – You see it does not vex me in the least; though perhaps I may suffer most from it after all; for I shall not only be obliged to eat up all the Victuals I have dressed already, but must if Henry should recover (which however is not very likely) dress as much for you again; or should he die (as I suppose he will) I shall still have to prepare a Dinner for you whenever you marry any one else. So you see that tho perhaps for the present it may afflict you to think of Henry’s sufferings, yet I dare say he’ll die soon and then his pain will be over and you will be easy, whereas my Trouble will last much longer for work as hard as I may, I am certain that the pantry cannot be cleared in less than a fortnight”
Marriage
Food
Grief
Crying
Jane Austen
Love And Friendship
Comfort
Satire
Cooking
Minimizing
“I can see the internal struggle through those vibrant blue orbs, ones I've seen look at me in a way I never thought another man would. So much admiration. So much devotion. So much... love?”
Life
Love
Heartbreak
Romance
Relationships
Breakup
Drama
Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto
“But whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living. And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one for this (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I'm going to blame John Cusack.”
Relationships
Humor
Cándido's Apocalypse
“I believe, do you know, we never stop being what we were, young. We don't shed the young self, we just put on other skins, one cover after another, but somewhere in us is still the self we were before we fell, before we started covering ourselves. And all the rest of our lives, we're trying to go back, we're looking for it, what we lost.”
Child Within
Thorn Wishes Talon
“The past never lets us go. It is persistent an unalterable. The future, however, is aloof, a stranger. It stands with its back to us, mute and private, refusing to communicate what it knows or what it sees. Except to some."
- Gregor Eisenhorn”
The Black Library
“Entrepreneur should never forget that better to be lucky than smart. So many times it is not the intellect that wins.”
Sandeep Aggarwal Quotes
Quotes From Serial Entrepreneurs
Sandeep Aggarwal Entrepreneur
“Never be outgunned, out flanked and out of communication with your soldiers.”
Military Romantic Suspense
Love Beyond Desire
“A spoken promise to never speak again,
Let's see, who wins Us or the Destiny once again...”
Quotes
My Work
What the Wind Knows
“I read somewhere that a person will never truly know who they are unless they prioritize what they love ... Anne Gallagher”
Great Quotes In Books
The Whole World Over
“Darling,’ when Charlie said it, felt like a whirlpool of rapture. Whenever Greenie answered the phone, he would say just that word, and Greenie would say ‘You,’ which was her way of expressing that he was now the world to her, that he was the one for whom she was always waiting, that he was the high cliff on which she was happy to stand and from which she had come to realize she might, at any moment, jump. Jump with open eyes and outspread arms.”
Joy Of Loving
The Art of the July Monarchy: France, 1830 to 1848
“The July Monarchy was the start of France’s Steam Age, a period when steam technology, much of it imported from England, began to transform perceptions of space and time (the steamboat and the railroad), material culture (the powerloom for weaving cloth), and the circulation of words and images (the mechanized printing press). The number of steam engines in France rose from six hundred in 1830 to five thousand in 1847, and contemporaries were powerfully aware of the changes they portended. Indeed, the July Monarchy has never received sufficient acknowledgment for setting the stage for the major economic boom of the 1850s and 1860s, for which the Emperor Napoleon III was happy to take credit. Nevertheless, in two fundamental ways, France before 1848 was more like it had been at the end of the eighteenth century than like it would be by the beginning of the twentieth.”
July Monarchy
Steam Age
It's Called Helping...You're Welcome
“Can somebody tell me why it is that trips to Home Depot are like potato chips, you can never have just one?”
Home Depot
“...We fall down, because the sky is above us. We will rise up because the ground is beneath us.
But.
We will never know the translations of the words spoken by our black skin. We call the language oppression, the country it comes from is called Brusied, the god that created us is called Spiteful, the intentions of being black is called knowing survival.
The beauty of being black is not yet known....”
Poetry
Davitos
Jerm
Jermdavitos
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