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Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living
“But like it or not, change happens and, like most things in life, doesn't really happen /to us/ - it just happens.”
Pg 119
When Is It Right to Die?: A Comforting and Surprising Look at Death and Dying
“...You, my friend, are society. So welcome to the club of community, and even though some may try to drown out other styles of discourse with shouts about personal rights, the community may have a thing or two to say, and it may say it a lot louder. After all, community can only progress when its individuals exercise higher moral choices, and community is sacrificed when individuals choose with only themselves in mind.”
Responsibility
Choices
Society
Consequences
Morality
Community
Discourse
Personal Rights
On Death and Dying
“We often tend to ignore how much of a child is still in all of us.”
Inner Child
On Death and Dying
“Education makes you humble, it doesn't make you proud.”
Life
Death
Education
On Death and Dying
“Religious patients seemed to differ little from those without a religion.”
Belief
“But I don't know anyone who has an easy life forever. Everyone I know gets their heart broken sometime, by something. The question is not, will my life be easy or will my heart break? But rather, when my heart breaks, will I choose to grow?
Sometimes in the moments of the most searing pain, we think we don't have a choice. But we do. It's in those moments that we make the most important choice: grow or give up. It's easy to want to give up under the weight of what we're carrying. It seems sometimes like the only possible choice. But there's always, always, always another choice, and transformation is waiting for us just beyond that choice.
This is what I know: God can make something beautiful out of anything, out of darkness and trash and broken bones. He can shine light into even the blackest night, and he leaves glimpses of hope all around us. An oyster, a sliver of moon, one new bud on a black branch, a perfect tender shoot of asparagus, fighting up through the dirt for the spring sun. New life and new beauty are all around us, waiting to be discovered, waiting to be seen.
I'm coming to think there are at least two kinds of pain. There's the anxiety and fear I felt when we couldn't sell our house. And then there's the sadness I felt when I lost the baby or when my grandma passed away. Very different kinds of pain. The first kind, I think, is the king that invites us to grow. The second kind is the kind that invites us to mourn.
God's not trying to teach me a lesson through my grandma's death. I wasn't supposed to love her less so the loss hurt less acutely, I'm not supposed to feel less strongly about the horror of death and dying. When we lose someone we love, when a dear friend moves away, when illness invades, it's right to mourn. It's right to feel deep, wrenching sadness.
But then there's the other kind of pain, that first kind. My friend Brian says that the heart of all human conflict is the phrase "I'm not getting what I want." When you're totally honest about the pain, what's at the center? Could it be that you're not getting what you want? You're getting an invitation to grow, I think, as unwelcome as it may be.
It's sloppy theology to think that all suffering is good for us, or that it's a result of sin. All suffering can be used for good, over time, after mourning and healing, by God's graciousness. But sometimes it's just plain loss, not because you needed to grow, not because life or God or anything is teaching you any kind of lesson. The trick is knowing the difference between the two.”
Real Talk
Death and Dying in Contemporary Japan
“Death is not final. As long as the living memorialise their deceased, the dead gain immortality. Death then becomes a journey to the next phase of in-existence. Death is a gate. To die is not the end. You pass the gate and move on to the next stage.”
Death
Dying
“When you're around death and dying you remember what's important in life: love, health, happiness. When you're not around death and dying you forget what's important in life.”
Life
Death
Dying
Imprtance
The Ride Down Mt. Morgan
“I know what's wrong with me - I could never stand still for death! Which you've got to do by a certain age, or be ridiculous - you've got to stand there nobly and serene, and let death run his tape on your arms and around your belly and up your crotch until he's got you fitted for that black suit. And I can't, I won't!... So I'm left with wrestling with this anachronistic energy which God has charged me with and I will use it till the dirt is shoveled in my mouth! Life! Life! Fuck death and dying!”
Death
Aging
Mortality
“No worries about money, success, fear, joy, pain, sorrow, sex, or love. Absolute zero. No father, mother, girlfriend, lover. The dead are orphans. No company but the silence like a moth's wings. - Garraty's thoughts on death and dying, The Long walk”
Death
Dying
Loneliness
Dead
Richard Bachman
The Long Walk
The Amateur's Guide To Death and Dying; Enhancing the End of Life
“I can't see the logic in medicating a grieving person like there was something wrong with her, and yet it happens all the time... you go to the doctor with symptoms of profound grief and they push an antidepressant at you. We need to walk through our grief, not medicate it and shove it under the carpet like it wasn't there.”
Death
Loss
Dying
Grief
Death Of A Loved One
Mourning
Depression
Medicine
Hide
Walk
Psychiatry
Medical
Doctor
Drug
Anti Psychiatry
Antidepressant
Carpet
Shove
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